I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the day after is always just damage control
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
