I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
