Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
