wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
