i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There r osticjed everywhere
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
