Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
