True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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