Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
