She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
