just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize