Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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