My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
