So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Life is so much better after having sex.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's blow job season.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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