do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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