I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
