i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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