Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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