Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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