thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
