i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
