Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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