On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
