1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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