that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
