once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
