Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
