Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
