Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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