i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
