Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
