Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize