if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
