i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
