My friends, they love my intelligence
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
