I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
