So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
