Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
