THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
