I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
