she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
