yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
