I'm lost and stupid without you.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
