i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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