I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
