We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
