there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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