WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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