Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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