what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
