Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
