I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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