yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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