I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
