belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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