Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
