Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
