the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He passed out mid-signature
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
